Our Mutual Friend.

I am so talented at preaching to other people when I don't heed my own words.

I've decided that -Lord willing- after I graduate from college, I'd like to move overseas. Maybe to Europe, maybe Italy, maybe somewhere else. But I don't want to live in America anymore. I want to teach music and learn a new language. I wonder if this will ever happen but I hope it does.

We finished 'Bleak House' a Charles Dickens tale produced by BBC. It was very well-done and really hard to pull yourself away from. He really is a great writer. Not everything ends how you feel it should which makes it realistic. So Mother found another one 'Our Mutual Friend.' It is, again Charles Dickens' last novel. It is very intricate and was very hard to follow at first but I am getting really into it and I recommend both to you.

I have been working on a book for quite some time. I've been debating about which time period I want it in, as the essence of the story would not be harmed just by changing the period. But lately, especially today, I've been getting frustrated by it. I don't like the story anymore because it makes me angry and makes me feel hurt. I am becoming so attached to one of my characters that I have almost put myself in her place. I know it may sound really weird, and it is actually weird but its true. I find myself sad on her behalf! This character that I invented! This girl whose life is ultimately in my hands - I decide her fate and I am sad for her. But that is the way I feel when I read stories like 'The House of Mirth', 'My Friend Flicka', or 'A Tale of Two Cities'. I get really frustrated and sad, or cry because of the story. But I've never felt that way for something that I've written. And I don't want it to just be like every other novel. It needs something different in it than what it has. There isn't enough basis for the plot and intertwining characters. And I do not have the patience to plan it out. And its making me somewhat frustrated. That and the fact that I do not have the time to write like I wish I could.

So after I got back from Mrs. Washburns -out of sheer frustration I walked out next door, across the little bridge and up to the last two hay bales in our neighbors field. I sat on one and didn't really care that it was moldy. I dislike people that think too much and here I am on top of a bale of hay - thinking too much. And ALL for a story! That never happened! I'm about ready to rip this stupid story up and have a burning ceremony.



Oh - as a side note, that is kind of cool - I have proposed, and gotten positive affirmation from Quinn (I haven't talked to Will yet) - that Quinn, Will and I start a band. That would be amazing. Since Will's favorite band is (I think) Underoath, Quinn's is probably something like the beatles or Led Zeppelin, and mine would probably be Coldplay or U2, it would be really interesting. We all have such different tastes that it would be completely unique and since Will is such an amazing drummer and Quinn is an amazing guitarist, we can't go wrong!
The only problem is getting together to practice. Which is kind of a big problem.