memories last for lifetimes, words last forever.

If your friend has a heart
There is something fine in him,
Cast away his darker part
Cling to what's divine in him.

I am going back to school tomorrow. I'll probablly arrive in Greenville around 6:20pm.
It's been a nice vacation and I've enjoyed my family. I miss my friends.

I got to do everything on my list to do for this week. I even rode today. : )
That made me very very happy. I actually didn't even ride ForgetMeNot, I rode some horse that just got there, Maverick. He was good. Almost threw me at first, but we straightened that out. I threatened him and then he was an angel. : )

I have been doing a lot of journaling. I actually like it better than blogging. It reminds me of old days or something. And it makes me think that someday my children might find my journals in a box in a dusty old attic somewhere. I guess I wouldn't mind if they found my blog online in decades to come, but a journal is so much more personal.

Time restores to earth each year,
All it took away.
Snows depart and birds appear,
Woods grow green and gay.
Blossoms fill the orchard-tree,
Wintry skies turn blue,
Everything comes back to me,
But- not you.

So unaltered is each place,
Garden, house and street,
Oft I turn to seek your face,
Listen for your feet,
Times like that it seems to be
Monstrous and untrue
That all things remain with me,
And-not you.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox

New York is so beautiful right now. The grey skies have so much richness and depth to them, I love it. Its not flat at all. In the summertime when the sky is blue, It is so deep and you feel like it is a blanket covering you, but still, like its a painting you can keep going deeper into. The grey sky is the same way. Its deep.
Sometimes I wish I could be somebody great when I grow up. But then you sort of stop and think that the greatest thing that ever happened and will ever make you great is when Jesus comes into your life. You know? I mean, from the moment He's in your life, all the potential in the world to be anybody is there. Waiting for your brains to straighten out and stop thinking so that you can make something of your life for Jesus. Hmm. That might be confusing. Maybe I will stop now before that thought gets too involved. : )

Our chief want in life is somebody who can make us do what we can. This is the service of a friend.
-Emerson

I hope that when I'm old, if I live to be old, that I will be always genuine and real. Sometimes, people who are older, I think that they forget about when they were younger. I suppose that could be taken the other way too. People who are older might remember when they were younger, but then they are so much wiser, or at least they think they are wiser. I keep thinking about Major Ian Thomas' message "A Grain of Wheat."
Its so odd to think that where you are in your life, no matter how far academically you've come, no matter how wealthy, how poor, that wherever you are, it is possible that you have still not become what you were born to be. "Imagine, being a seed for thousands of years, and one day discovering that you never became what you were born to be." What a tragedy. How do you know you've reached that point when you do get to it? What if you go through life thinking you've gotten to that point, you've run the race, you've tried your best, and then when you die, "discover that you had not lived". I think that would be awful. To take the life of Jesus Christ so freely offered and to do nothing with it. I bet I am doing that right now. Living my life knowing that I have eternal life, and almost riding away with that. And not doing anything else. Ian Thomas said, what if Christ had come and lived His perfect, sinless, righteous life, and then gone back to heaven. What would that have done for you and me? But he had an hour in his life that was more significant than all the others, so doesn't that mean that in our lives, since they are made in the image of Jesus', that there is an hour that is more significant than all the others? I say that there is. We accept Jesus, we accept that his life lived perfectly and his sacrifice on the cross is the only way, we know that we are sinners deserving the wrath of an almight God, but then what? What do you do when all you have is all you need?
What do you do when the world is falling apart,
when your heart is broken and no one can fix it.
What do you do when you want to live like you're dying, but you've never died before, so you can't.
So many questions. One answer.

You're a seed. And you die. And you become what you were born to be.



The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one,
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun

The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one;
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.

-Francis W. Bourdillon

Further up! Further In!

So far, I have fit into my schedule the following:

4 restless nights of sleep with coffee and figgy (dog and cat) sleeping on my feet and waking me up...

minimal homework.

lots of knitting

1 full day of work today. Which included babysitting. MAJOR babysitting. Whew those kids are crazy.

baking

old movies

sleeping in

discovering at a birthday/bluegrass party tonight that my dad can play both the bass and the mandolin and he's good at both, and REALLY good at the GUItar. : D (my mom made the main entree for the same party and it was delicious of course!)

quality time with my brother and his fiance. it feels weird to call her his fiance...

piano practice time. once again...minimal...

and last but not least, updating my blog.

Actually, last night, Coffee and figgy were SO annoying that at around 3am, I jumped out of bed and said "Alright children!!" and stood in the doorway. They both knew they were in trouble for being too noisy so Coffee slinked out with her head down and Figgy just sort of struted out. I slammed the door behind them.
I did enjoy babysitting today though. It started that I was the monster, and I was cleaning rooms and then Charlie, Will, Henry and Logan kept coming in and finally I started pretending to scare them away. Big mistake. They loved it. Wouldn't leave me alone for anything. I loved being with them so it was fun. Then we all went to Bills 70th birthday bash. I enjoyed the bluegrass music and saw the men playing the fiddle, guitar, harmonica, banjo, mandolin, ba- and yes...my dad was up there playing the bass and I'm thinking, "where on earth did THAT come from?!" I ran into the kitchen. "mom! did you see dad up there playing the bass? what next!" mom laughed. Dad had fun. : )

Anyways. I'm off to do some homework and watch 'Curious George'
I saw "Meet John Doe" the other night. It has Gary Cooper and it is really really good.

Here is a poem I read today that I liked.

"Perhaps it will all come right at last:
It may be, when all is done,
We shall be together in some good world
Where to wish and to have are one."

- Richard Henry Stoddard.

pictures pictures

Here are some pictures of some of my friends from college. I'll try to get more before Christmas!


annie and I. I love her.

the fresh chop. : )

allan and trevor. trevor and i are supposedly going to be "best friends for the entire four years we're at college together!!"

from left to right: amanda, paola, me, natalie, and melinda.

my roommate elyse and her friend jon.

evie and I.

nate came to visit me sunday. we had a good time. : D

I flew in the plane and closer to heaven.

Whew. What an experience. To take all the things you've been taught for 18 years and truly make them your own as independence knocks on your door, comes in, and makes itself at home whether you want it to or not. Coming home for thanksgiving I thought about a lot of things. I guess I have changed a lot. And then I realized that I still appreciate the simple things, and I still love them. So I suppose that I haven't change all that much. I feel older, and maybe a little bit wiser, but at the same time, so naive and vulnerable. The most I have learned is that my own faults have been exposed. So much has happened since I've been away. Some of it, I wish, would all be a bad dream, that I could wake up from. But some of it is good. It all is good in a way. It will all fit into a puzzle that is titled with my name. God is very good to be so faithful when I am so unfaithful. I hope I never stop wishing and wanting and dreaming. Even if you fall flat on your face. Even if you fall flat on your face a million times!! Never stop hanging onto the simple things. Never stop hanging on to the hope that's within. That is all that will keep you alive in times like these.

Alright. Enough with the sappy stuff. : )

College is awesome. I love it. Its still hard to believe that I am at college sometimes, and sometimes it feels like I've been there for years and years. I've lost some friends, and made some awesome ones.
It's been a semester of a lot of firsts. : ) My first cup of coffee, my first "date", my first demerit (not my last one unfortunately), my first turkey bowl, my first chai tea latte....the list goes on and on.
There was one instance where it wasn't a first.
This semester contained the second time I'd ever cut my own hair. : D I did a good job too.




Happy Thanksgiving.

so much to be thankful for. : )