My World: March 2006

3.26.2006

Because

Adelaide Anne Procter


It is not because your heart is mine-mine only-
Mine alone,
It is not because you choose me, weak and lonely
For your own;
Not because the earth is fairer, and the skies
Spread above you
Are more radiant for the shining of your eyes-
That I love you!

It is not because the world's perplexed meaning
Grows more clear;
And the Parapets of Heaven, with Angels leaning,
Seems more near;
And nature sings of praise with all her voices
Since yours spoke
Since within my silent heart, that now rejoices,
Love awoke!

Nay, not even because your hand holds heart and
Life
At your will
Soothing, hushing all its discord, making strife
Calm and still
Teaching trust to fold her wings, nor ever roam
From her nest;
Teaching love that her securest, safest home
Must be rest.

But because this human love, though true and
Sweet,-
Yours and mine,-
Has been sent by Love more tender, more
Complete,
More Divine,
That it leads our hearts to rest at last in Heaven
Far above you;
Do I take you as a gift that God has given
And I love you

3.25.2006

a day at the barn. : )

Megan and Spunky

ForgetMeNot and Me.

Getting ready to ride.

Bad quality, but you can see how pretty ForgetMeNot is : )

Steph is the only one that can get him to do anything.

Jennifer and Jester

Steph and Pilot

Meg and Me

Marie and Kris

3.23.2006

for your benefit

When I say "I started reading my favorite book tonight." Most of you know what that means.

"My Friend Flicka"

Yes. I am going to put a couple of my favorite parts on here so that you can sample them and hopefully be tempted to read the whole thing. WARNING: What you are about to read, in my humble opinion, is a portion of the most beautifully written book I have ever read in my life. Time and time again I have pulled this book off my shelf. It is red and plain on the front, with pages that are turning yellow on the edges, and its just wonderful.

We'll start at the beginning and I'll skip around a little. The first page is just delicious.

"High up on the long hill they called the Saddle Back, behind the ranch and the county road, the boy sat his horse, facing east, his eyes dazzled by the rising sun.
It seemed like a personage come to visit; appearing all of a sudden over the dark bank of clouds in the east, coming up over the edge of it smiling; bowing right and left; lighting up the whole world so that everything smiled back.
The snug, huddled roofs of the ranch house, way below him, began to be red instead of just dark; and the spidery arms of the windmill in the gorge glinted and twinkled. They were smiling back at the sun.
"Good morning, mister!" shouted Ken, swinging his arm in salute, and the chunky brown mare he rode gave a wild leap.

* * * * *

An echoing whistle pierced the silence. The train was approaching the Tie Siding corssing.
The cows were moving into the corral-that little black post was Tim, fastening the gate back.
It wouldn't be long before breakfast. Everybody was awake. Going downstairs, his mother would call, "Time to get up, boys!" His father was sitting up in bed with his hair rumpled, pajamas rumpled, hand reaching out for a cigar.
Gosh- if his father had read the reports! And that wasn't all, there was the saddle blanket too, the lost saddle blanket.
He turned from looking at the ranch house and let his eyes sweep the hillside. Saddle blanket, saddle blanket-everytime he asked his father for a colt, McLaughin said, I'll give you one when you deserve one-not before. It might be caught on a shrub, or a rock-or lying in a gully. Lucky I woke up early. Howard will be sore that I didn't wake him. He always wants to go along. He can never wake up, but I can-

* * * * *

Nell picked up the little bright oval rugs. "Here, Ken, you might take these out and shake them for me-"
She went over to the sink and ran hot water into the dishpan.
Standing there she could look out the door and watch him shaking the rugs slowly-making a game of it-trying to scare the dogs; and it took her back to when she was a little girl and her mother had made her shake the rugs out of doors after breakfast. That was at the Cape Cod cottage when it had begun to be too hot to stay in Boston-
The water filled the dishpan-
She used to shake them very slowly, one by one, looking around, sniffing the salt tang in the air, listening to the soft boom of the breakers on the beach until her mother's voice inside would call her to hurry with those rugs-
The hot water was running over and burning her hands-
"Hurry with those rugs, Ken."

* * * * *

There were these pictures-one on each side of his bed-about eight inches square, with a flat wooden frame an inch wide.
And inside the frame-
He dropped the qiult, moved up to one picture and stood minutely examining it. What people! Peasant people, his mother had told him, probably Swiss...
Ken had never been in such a world as that.
He climed across the bed and looked at the other picture which was another peasant picture, but inside a house.
Down at the end of his room was the strangest picture of all.
Ken went to look at it. There was a verse written in the corner which he knew by heart.
Intreat me not to leave thee,
Nor to return from following after thee.
For whither thou goest I will go,
And where thou lodgest I will lodge.
"Intreat me not to leave thee," he murmered, liking something about the way the words made his voice rise and fall. Besides, there was something in this picture that the other pictures did not have, something completely grown-up and mysterious and a little exciting. "Intreat me-"



If you can't see why I love this book...well...this isn't even that half of it. Its wonderful reading. : )

3.21.2006

happy tuesday. : )

The fooseball table on which many of us pooled money together so that we could play, until the guys quit because pretty much they couldn't handle the heat. The girls creamed them. About..50 times. People will tell you though, that everytime we ran out of fooseballs, I said;"MONEY! Money people! We need more money! Come on!" It might be true. Don't quite remember. : ) You've got to admit guys, those were pretty much the best games that I know of.

"Will beat Ben only like, 10 times."

"MOLLIE?!"

Cydney is a cool kid.

"Bumper Pool" Its sort of like..bumper bowling, people who can't play do it.

Abby is my friend.

"It was pretty much the best game that I know of."

3.19.2006

something that you should think about

What a Friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee
Thou wilt find a solace there.



In praying, we must be SO careful that we do not find it a duty, or a routine, or something that is dreaded, like bringing our "lists" before the Holy One. We are to enter into His presence with thanksgiving, but also with a reverencial trembling or terror out of respect for the holiness of Jesus Christ.
When I think of prayer, the only thing that comes to mind is Elijah. He was a man who came boldly before the throne of God. When Elijah prayed, God listened. As He did to Moses also. But particularly, I am reminded of 1 Kings 18:41-46
Elijah fell on his knees with his face to the ground, and did not get up till God answered him. Also note that; "And it came to pass at the seventh time.." Seven being the number of perfection.
Prayer is not always an easy thing. It might be easier to pray for 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes, even an hour. But to go past that point, to the one where you are actually battling to keep perservering, you are struggling, losing your focus, it IS hard.
"What, could you not watch with me one hour?" Matt. 26:40&41

He shed no tears for His own griefs
But sweatdrops of blood for mine


To fast, to devote yourself to days of prayer, to sacrifice the seeming pleasures of this world, (TV, music, reading,) things that may in themselves be harmless, but to you, DEADLY. Are you prepared for the high cost of following Jesus? He does not ask for our all, He demands it.

3.17.2006

I'm an aunt!

Yes! Arianna Marie Ellis was born Thursday morning at 7. : )
Go to Micahs site, to see pictures of her.
She looks like Vanessa. : ) I heard her cry on the phone this morning. And Micahs drowsy voice saying; "..she's been crying all night.."
I can't wait to see her, I'm going up the end of March with my Dad and Mother. I will take lots of pictures.
I love you Micah and Vanessa! Congrats!

By the way...

are you wearing green?

3.13.2006

Profondement calme (dans une brume doucement sonore)

It is thundering and lighting. The blackness of the night seems to make more mysterious and less inviting if it were lighter out.
Amidst all the practicing on 'Un Sospiro' I need to do, I thought it only suitable to take a break and play a few thunder-worthy pieces. I had the house to myself, so I played. I just mean, played. It is sort of like singing at the top of your lungs when you are by yourself and you know it is no way possible for anyone to hear you. That is how I play when there is no one around. I really play. And I love it. I relish those moments.
I played, 'The Sunken Cathedral' first, then three Chopin nocturnes, then (of course) the 'Moonlight Sonate' by Beethoven...
Then 'Impromptu in G-flat Major' by Schubert.



My fingers are the opposite of long and slender. They are in no way, the ideal piano fingers. They are ugly and unattractive. When I hold them out in front of me, it seems impossible that I could even type with these things, but if they can manage 'Un Sospiro', I think I'm OK.
But somehow, when I play, and I look down at my hands, they seem to me the most wonderfully slender fingers. It's like they just stretch out and do what they are most happy doing. It is hard to explain...they just seem different. They are beautiful. Then as the last note dies away, they go back to the fingers that spend too much time around cleaners, cleaning tack, grooming horses, and an abundance of other things that are in no wise healthy things to do, for fingers that want to be slender and lovely.

There are pictures all over the top of the piano and on the wall. I stare at them when I play. I stared at Ruth tonight. It is a black and white photo and she is leaning against a tree and her blonde hair is very long. She is very pretty. She has a very serious expression on her face but there is a hint of a smile. As the notes drift along in the living room air, I miss her and wonder what she is doing right now.
I remember 'The Three Philosophers'. Somehow her smile made me remember that...Jon, Ruth and I sitting outside with the family and company, eating...well, you had to be there.

I will leave you with a three philosopher quality thought...

"He who hears the thunder rumble...and takes warning...he has gained knowledge."

3.11.2006

"Gus is dead...wait...isn't that Gus?"


I finish riding, Megan and Lynn are leaving, So I walked down the hill to put my horse back in the mare barn, while they were driving out the driveway.
Walking back, I see their car backing up and Megan went into the house while Lynn walked towards me with sadness and grief in her eyes.
"There is a dead cat on the edge of the driveway...it's Gus."
"No!" (Gus is dear to us all...we love him)
"Yes."
"Oh no! That's horrible!"
"Yeah, Megan went into the house to get a garbage bag...we're not sure how to tell Jackie."
"Man..."
We walk towards the road, the three of us, our heads down, no words for our sadness.
The cat is Gus alright. It is grey with a white neck and white feet. Megan picks it up and it is stiff. Even though I wasn't supposed to smile, I couldn't help but smile, the way she was holding as far away from her as possible. We walked towards the mare barn, trying to decide what to do with it. Should we bury it? Or should we leave it behind the barn and go tell Jackie? Megan makes a panting noise. She says Gus was a fat cat because he is very heavy. I say that I would offer to carry him, but I'd rather not touch him.
Megan stops halfway there and akwardly points the stiff cat in the direction of the barn.
"Wait...isn't THAT Gus? MOM! Then who is THIS cat?!"
We stared at Gus and Gus started at us. He rubbed himself against the corner of the barn. He stretched up and scratched his claws on the side of the wood. He sat.
We stared.
Then we burst out laughing and could not stop. Lynn deposited Gus' twin in the woods. I came to the conclusion that it was his double, and that the both of them were switching back and forth in effort to lead double lives. We relayed the story to Jackie who found it quite amusing. I said; "You should have seen our somber burial procession. We were trying to find the right words to tell you."
Megan thought of something.
"Mom, what if it was a sick cat? Maybe I got a disease now."
"Well, whatever it had, it's dead too."
For some reason, I found this quite halarious and could not stop laughing.
It was actually that way the whole day.

Gus, we love you.

3.10.2006

neigh

the sweet, dry smell of hay
i brush it off my "hay repelent" pants
what a scam
it crackles and falls to the hard dirt ground
the barn door screeches
as i try with all my might
to shut it nice and tight
to keep out the cold
the snow falls soft and light
it covers both horse and i
we trudge on silenty
i place my cold hands on her warm nose
two puffs of smoke
fading quickly
i sing a song
her ears twitch
her tail "swish"
i smile and keep singing
closer and i feel her whiskers tickle my face
careful hands
clean and brush
she closes her eyes
i talk softly
only she can hear
walking she carries me gently
sometimes i forget
i close my eyes and almost sleep
she goes on and and the rythm of her feet
i never ever want to get off


-E.G.E.

3.09.2006

"goodbye"

dedicated to my sister.


the fur on my hood tickles my ear
it feels like I've worn this coat for years
I turn my head away
and this is how it feels
saying goodbye
to those you so love
an unshed tear falls silently
it tears me apart
I look straight on
and this is how it feels
saying goodbye
to those you so love
the wet sidewalk
raindrops sparkle on my red scarf
I look both ways with my eyes shut
and this is how it feels
saying goodbye
to those you so love
the music soars
my heart skips a beat
I breathe in sharply
and this is how it feels
she sings so softly
I strain to listen
I squeeze mother's hand ever so tightly
I cannot move
but somehow I'm walking
straight on, never stopping
and this is how it feels
saying goodbye
to those you so love.

-E.G.E.

3.08.2006

a piano lesson poem (wednesdays poem)

a deeper note
a trembling
you feel it in your chest
a rumbling
augmented
a shiver
sit and breathe the dissonance
it strikes my soul
i cannot reach
a key so far
an ivory piece with
slender touch
it flights across
but never rushed
but it is only right
and never wrong
when hands
upon this ivory
glides
the heat of my
hands
we come alive
we breathe.
the sounds all blend
they dance as one
my ear
cannot distinguish
the only moment my mind stands still
is when my
hands will rest
upon this ivory
down, down, deeper still
play once more
never stop
please
never stop


-E.G.E.

3.07.2006

a poem for tuesday

oh snow will you go
oh spring will you bring
something for me to smile at
a flower or two
a robin's egg blue
a lawn of green grass to lie on
oh greyness please flee
oh blueness please plead
to drape upon us once more
the suns gentle ray
a warm summer day
a lake for a swan to float on
oh bank of snow-dirt
oh sun will you flirt
and make it go away
the salt on the cars
would run, oh so far
if only the snow would go

-E.G.E.

3.06.2006

a poem for monday

tripping down the sidewalk
wearing papa's boots
6 sizes too big
they were much too loose
my feet were nice and dry
though the laces were untied
I was somewhere in another world
somewhere on cloud nine
walking in the door to work
I thought that I must be bazurk!
I tried to walk past them
I tried to sneak
but it was hardly possible
when all you could see was my feet
they say to understand a man
you wear his shoes
and you'll understand
well, I wore his boots
and I know one thing
they're much to big
and much too loose


-E.G.E.

3.05.2006

Sunday Thoughts

Freedom comes where Freedom is

helpless situation
hopeless situation
desperate situation


A Gleam of Light from the North


-E.G.E.


Matt. 15:21-28

3.04.2006

Try

Well my graduation meeting was last night. Boy its the liveliest bunch of kids you've ever seen! *sarcasim*

I can't believe I'm graduating. Actually, worse than that, I can't believe TFC is in 8 weeks. I am completely not ready, but I just practiced for about, 45 mintues. I am actually understanding everything now. So somewhat, I understand what I am doing, now I just have to WORK it. Really work the arpeggios, the tricky fingering...work work work. What else is new?
And between all that, work on my sacred. : ) *sigh*

Anyways, I can't believe I'm graduating. Now because I didn't think I'd make it, but because time just flew by. I mean, it FLEW by.
And believe me, the summer won't drag its feet either. Before I know it, my life will be ending and beginning, and I highly doubt I'll be prepared for it.



There is a song that Bebo Norman sings. It is called 'Try' from the cd of the same title. Here are some of the lyrics.

outside my room looking in
you'll probably find me all over the place
in pictures of me back in school
a slight crooked kid like the smile on my face..
I'm afraid to grow up
but somewhere inside is the will of a man
and all I've ever wanted
was something to give and love if I can

you make me wanna try
you make me wanna fight
you make me wanna live
you make me wanna give

and inside my room looking out
the colors of night all faded and bruised
but out from the shadows of doubt
you held up your heart and stepped into view..
it drew a new song from my lips
singing if I can fall, I'm falling for you
I'm afraid to grow up
'cause somewhere inside I don't think I can
and all I've ever wanted
is someone to love, and to live like a man

you make me wanna try
you make me wanna fight
you make me wanna live
you make me wanna give

3.01.2006

Rabindranath Tagore

And life goes on. Very Rapidly.
Tomorrow I shall work, and in the afternoon and evening, practice, practice, do school, practice, sew, practice, and then practice some more. Massive heaps of work await me as far as the piano is concerned. I was very pleased with my practice time tonight, however, there is a marked improvement in some of the tricky areas.
I rode today. It was alright, some major discussions and issues on both our ends that needed to be worked out. I haven't ridden for a few weeks, so considering, it was good. I met George, a tiny, skinny little Quarter horse, who is there for the purpose of being ridden. Hmm. Well, Jackie and I worked with him a little today, just handleing him. He tried to kick me only about...20 times... Then he turned around and looked at me and Jackie says; "Yeah, get used to her, she's going to be riding you sometime soon!" Oh wonderful. It is so nice riding horses that don't like you... *rolls eyes*

Friday I am spending the day in Binghamton, and at 7 p.m. our first graduating planning meeting is scheduled. I will be meeting all those who I am graduating with. Should be interesting. I work Saturday.
I am in the middle of 30 different projects, work is increasing, slowly, but it is all the same, at any given moment, my mind will be spinning in a thousand different directions, but then again, as my mother likes to remind me, I LOVE a challenge!

I have a feeling that this summer will whisk by in about...two seconds. Then everything will be over. And my life will just be beginning.
And I will be dead tired and completely unprepared for it.

I talked with the director of the Cooperstown Chamber for a while on Monday afternoon after work, and she was helpful, gave me some names to contact...Britt and I would like to make some money, maybe at restauraunts or something, or the park, this summer, in the evenings. Hopefully we can get together to make a cd, and then give to places like, Portabello's, The French Corner, Hoffman Lane Bistro, and then..maybe something will work out. I'm thinking about working 6 days a week this summer, which would mean no piano lessons, or riding. Then in the evenings maybe some concerts or something.

Well, sleep is calling. It is early to rise. : )
Kelly and I are in charge at the Inn for the next few days as Margie and Ed are vactioning in Flordia. So it should be fun.



-E.G.E.


Song of the day: "Praise the God Who Saves" -Caedmon's Call

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